Stop Making New Years Resolutions

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New Years always starts the same way. It’s a blank slate. We want to make changes. We want life to be easier, better, more productive. So, we set lofty goals. We make to-do lists. We force ourselves into new routines in the hopes that we can form new habits.

But it never works.

And why not? Because real change doesn’t come in the form of to-do lists and lofty goals.Don't Resolve. Be.Download a printable version of our subway art

Real Change Comes from Within.

This morning, I woke up, and got onto Facebook (like I always do when I am too groggy to get out of bed) and saw one of my friends posts. She said:

“In this new year, I’m not making resolutions. Instead, I’m choosing 5 people in my life who have a trait that I’d like to have. Some people I’ve known my whole life and some I’ve known for just a little while. I’m not doing this because these people are perfect, I’m doing it because I believe God has given us all something special. I believe you can learn something from everyone. So with that, I begin my new year.”

I have some crazy smart friends.

It’s not the to-do list that makes the change. It’s your character that makes the change. It’s those traits that make you you and me me that gets things done. You are a good Momma because you are present and empathetic, and I am good at what I do because I am resourceful and determined. It’s those little traits that are going to help you reach your goals this year, and it’s your heart you should try and change this year- not your waist size, or the cleanliness of your home, or the size of your paycheck.

This year, forget resolving to loose 10 pounds or go to the gym more, instead, try and be more diligent. Diligence will get you so much farther. If you’re diligent, you’ll get out of bed more consistently to go to the gym. If you’re diligent, you’ll pay more attention to the food you choose to put in your mouth. If you’re diligent, not only will you get into better shape, you’ll also see the rewards in other areas of your life. Diligent people do better at work. Diligent people have cleaner homes. Striving to be more diligent is so much more rewarding than just “promising” yourself to loose 10 pounds.

If you want to be even more successful, do as my friend is doing, and find someone you admire to emulate.

With our move back to the states came a new job that is going to keep my husband away from home more than I like. I met a wonderful friend here who is resilient. Not only is she handing the ops tempo with grace, she’s positive and happy despite it. She’s focused on her role as a mother. She still keeps her home tidy and feeds her kids meals other than McDonalds.

As for me… well, my husband still hasn’t left on his first trip (he will very soon) and I am whiny. I’m discouraged. I’m dreading the new change, and the life we’ll be living for the next couple years.  I am homesick for Germany and our life there. I just don’t wanna. There are so many positive things about this particular job (perks, travel pay – woohoo!, not to mention the amazing experience my husband will have) so I need to make some serious changes in my heart.

I am going to spend more time watching and listening to those who are who I want to be. I want to be resiliant too. I want to be content. I want to bloom where I am planted.

I am going to stop making resolutions.

I could make a resolution. But instead, I am going to look up to those who inspire me to do better, and be better. I am going to focus on being more like my dear friends and family who ooze character. I’m going to spend time with them, and learn from them, and remind myself daily that real change comes from within.

What changes do you want to see in yourself this year? What do you want to be?

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  1. Awesome Idea! I had a friend do something similar a few years ago, and she made me cry when she told me I was one of the friends she wanted to be more like. Made my heart happy 🙂

    I should try this one year, but for this year I chose to focus on one word, Growth and try to set my goals with that focus.

    I am a list-maker, so to me making resolutions and setting goals is a natural thing. And I’ve gotten pretty good at accepting my imperfections. When something doesn’t work out, I just cross it off the list 😉

    Thank you for sharing an awesome alternative to resolutions 🙂 I am visiting from BOOST!

    1. I did the one word thing last year- it worked pretty well. Mostly, kind of. LOL Last year was rough! Hopefully this year will be better!

      Thanks for commenting!

  2. Amen sister! I want to be available for God to transform what REALLY needs to change in me, instead of trying to reach for some artificial, superficial goal. Have a joy-filled New Year!

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