My family is in a period of transition. I feel like I have said this a lot in the last couple years. I said it when I was pregnant with Peanut, and I struggled. I said it when we moved from Germany to the states. I said it when I was homesick and when I had a new baby and when I started a new job. And I am saying it now. It almost feels like a dirty word. Saying “my family is in a period of transition” feels like an excuse. And I don’t want to make excuses. Scratch that, I don’t want to feel so down on myself and what I am doing that I feel like I have to make excuses.
It almost feels like a dirty word. Saying “my family is in a period of transition” feels like an excuse. And I don’t want to make excuses. Scratch that, I don’t want to feel so down on myself and what I am doing that I feel like I have to make excuses.
And really, it’s silly to feel this way.
The reason I feel like a homeschool failure is that my homeschool today doesn’t look the same as it when we first started homeschooling. The things I do now with the kids are not the same kinds of lessons I did with the kids when Bug was a kindergartener and life was different.
I still have the same ideas about education. I still feel like the early years should be spent in nature as much as possible. I still believe in stories and the magic of childhood and language and teaching strong phonics (when the child is ready). I still am in love with the ideals of classical education, I still love teaching history in chronological order, and I love the great books and the idea of teaching the kids Latin.
I still love hands-on learning.
I am still the same person. But- life is not the same. Now, I have three children to teach, and a little Peanut to distract us. The kids are older. Everything is different.
I have been letting myself feel like a failure because now, Bug is taking a class with his Writing and Rhetoric book, instead of listening to me teach it. I am feeling like a failure because he has been watching YouTube science videos before tackling experiments on his own instead walking through them with me.
I’ve been feeling like a failure because he is growing up, and spreading his wings and things have changed. I’ve done less and less for him . . . But he has not been doing less.
There is no reason for me to feel like this, and dear Homeschool Mama reading this post- if you are struggling with the changing of the seasons and your children growing up, I hope you know you are not a failure either. We just need a change in perspective. It’s time to celebrate the independence. I need to recognize the work I did to get us to this point, and celebrate that Bug now knows how to write and submit assignments for online classes without my help. He knows how to set up activities and art projects and complete them without guidance. He’s learned to learn. He’s doing exactly what I wanted him to do.
And that is okay.
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