Motherhood after the Trenches

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Spring is finally here Germany. This week we have blue skies, big fluffy clouds, and enough sun to kiss my kiddos noses. Spring automatically lifts my spirits. The fog in my head clears, my energy level skyrockets, and all of a sudden I feel like I can take on the world.

Our Tree #2, The Hawthorn has “woken up”

Each spring, new life springs forth. The trees (which my children declared “dead, dead, dead”) have come back to life. Flowers are blooming. Birds are singing again, Bugs are crawling again, and everything is changed. Things are changing for my family too.

It’s kind of funny, thinking about how my life is now, sitting in the sun on a warm afternoon in Germany, compared to a year ago. A year ago on this blog, I said “I am tired, I am impatient, I am so deeply in love with these three messy, goofy, lovey little things I call my children. Sometimes I am in over my head, in a really scary kind of way.”

I’ve had my fill of spit-up down my back, nights full of pacing the hallway with crying babies, and trying to juggle the needs of 3 little people under 5 years old. I did a lot of crying and questioning weather I was really cut out for this job. I wasn’t sure I could make it. And then….

I woke up today, and the sun is shining.  The kids are all getting older, and I’m feeling like maybe it’s “springtime” for this Momma as well.

I am climbing out of “motherhood in the trenches.”  Now, Bug is old enough to make lunch, and feed his siblings. He can help find lost items; he can work all the electronics in the house, and knows how to clean the floor underneath the toilet to fight the icky little boy bathroom smell.  Little Miss doesn’t need carried everywhere anymore and speaks enough Human to tell me what she needs, when she needs it. I don’t need to decipher screams and cries anymore.

Mr. Man, who was at the height of his make-mommy-question-her-sanity phase, has grown leaps and bounds in the past year. He is less likely to have a total meltdown in public, and listens more intently. He can be trusted to walk with me, and I am less convinced he will kill himself trying to be a superhero… which also means I get more sleep and time to shower by myself. Mr. Man can get his own snacks and drinks, and is able to pick up his own messes. He can dress himself. My world today is much easier than it was a year ago.

There is light and hope for me, and I can feel the change in the seasons. I know we have new challenges coming for us, and new struggles.  Someday I may add more Little Rascals to my family so the baby days may not be fully be behind me. But this is a new phase of my life, one with older, responsible kids. They are growing much too quickly.

But I can breathe.

It feels wonderful.

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  1. It really is wonderful when you realize that your babies are becoming responsible little kids. Enjoy your moment to breathe in and savor their accomplishments. You’ve done a good job Momma.

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