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Dear Mom With The Naughty Kids

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Dear Mom with the Naughty Children

Dear Mom,

I saw you today.

I saw you at the restaurant, when your baby was screaming, and the middle child threw their cup on the floor. I saw when it splashed up and hit the people at the next table. I saw the look they gave you when your older child jumped up to “help” but knocked into the waitress instead.

I saw how defeated you looked.

I saw how tired you looked.

I saw you again at the store. You had the baby in one arm, a stack of dresses in the other, and was pushing an empty stroller. The two middle kids disappeared in a clothing rack before you even noticed they had stopped holding the stroller. You turned and shouted for them, and again, people glared. Your kids ran out, laughing, and you turned red as you mumbled something at them under your breath.

I see you everywhere.

I see you at home too, when I look into the mirror. I see the frown lines, and the furrowed brow. I see you unsure and tired. Oh, so tired.

I see you, and I see me.

And I don’t know what to tell you.

Well. Maybe I do.

I know this, Mama. You’re doing the best you can. I am too. We are good Mommas. We are good, even when they scream and cry and whine and make a scene. We are good Mommas even when everyone else glares and grumbles and makes us feel like we are nothing.

We are not nothing.

We are the ones who love these stinkers no matter what.

We are the ones who see past the tantrum, and see the hurt.

We are the ones who know the folded arms and stomping feet just mean she’ll be able to stand up for herself when she’s grown.

We are the ones who know the excess energy and big ideas are going to change the world someday.

I don’t know when the kids will grow out of their naughty stage… or if they ever will. I don’t know of any magical new parenting tricks. I don’t have any tips for you.

I am just there with you. In the trenches. Holding hands, and saying prayers, and glaring right back at those who don’t understand.

Hang in there. Take a deep breath. And know you are doing a good job.

Love, Me (Mother of 4 under nine)

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  • I absolutely love this post! I think all moms have “been there” when the kids just overwhelm the situation. “This day will pass with a blink of an eye!”

  • i had my daughter, my first and only chlid, at age 29. i was glad to have waited through my early 20s, but then got nervous when things got ‘off schedule’ in getting pregnant. i might be a bit type A, haha. my little girl is such a joy to me!

  • I’m probably the youngest one =P I became a mom for the first time at 18.
    My two beautiful daughters are now 6 and 4 years old 🙂

  • A Family is what i always wanted. My Dream came true. I’m a mother with 3 kids. 2 Girls ages 14 and 12 , and a very very exhausting boy age 9. I’m now 34 . Stay home mom . Since my first daughter was born its been one long journey. Sleepless nights, endless nappy changing the crying sometimes you feel like running away! It goes on non stop. A mother is not just a mother , she is a caregiver, a cook, nurse ,adviser, psychologist, teacher , seamstress the list goes on! As your kids grow older the stress just gets bigger. Having to deal with a teenager the constant running around after every demand. once again non stop. Sometimes you feel like your a bad mom . You feel like your best is not not good enough. Maybe you should run away?But let me tell you something.
    If i can have my life over again, i would change nothing! My kids are perfect in every way. When I’m old i will have loads of stories to tell my kids . To all the moms out there, your children love you unconditionally just look past the naughtiness. It there where you will see only love and how much they really need a mom like you.

  • I became a mom at age 37. I had a baby boy. Very difficult labour.
    At 44 I had a baby girl. Very easy labour. Was a stay-at-home mom this time. I exercised and ate right and had time to look after myself.

    My lovely kids are now 18 and 11!

    I still miss the age of discovery between 1 and 3.

  • I’m on the final stretch and it goes so fast. My oldest just turned 26 and the baby is almost 13, with four more in between, and I still have to deal with naughtiness. Thanks for the encouragement.

  • I was 28 when my oldest son was born. I now have a nice boy-girl-boy-girl package with my 4 kiddos. And in an effort to keep my inbox manageable, I can’t subcribe to everything, but I am glad to have found this blog as a new homeschooler! Thank you for the encouragement.

  • Sigh, I know who you are seeing. It’s me. And some days it honestly feels like I’m flunking this mama thing. Some days just placing one foot in front of the other feels more than heavy. And certainly those glaring disapproving looks from strangers see how badly I’m flunking it?

    • You aren’t flunking it- you’re just trudging through the hardest chapter. It’s okay Momma! All those strangers glaring just forgot how hard it can be.

    • Don’t stress about the stares. I smile at the moms of the naughty children because their children rarely topped my first. At the store he would climb the shelves, hide in the freezer, use the open top coolers in the middle of the isles as a balancing act and then take off running as fast as he could zig zagging through the store. This crazy attitude never left and it made raising him an adventure. He will be 19 in 2 weeks and I fight to keep him with me, I tell him he’s not ready for the big bad world, I need a little longer with him to help him get ready. So don’t fret about the stares because you will soon forget about them just stay focused on the awesomeness in front of you because if you blink you will miss something special.

  • Sometimes it’s just nice to hear that we are not the only ones, that there are other moms dealing with the same things. Thanks for your letter, Heather, and for reminding us of that!

  • Once again, you’re spot on! Lol my 6 leave me looking like a crazy woman daily. One day it’ll all make sense. Lol

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