I love the idea of having a word of the year. One word to help keep me focused, one word to sum up my hopes, dreams and goals for the year. It wasn’t easy finding the right word for me. But I think I found a good one.
My word of the year for 2014 is “Linger”
So much has been happening in my life. Lots of beautiful things…. and lots of things to call for my time and attention.
This year, I want to slow down, and focus.
This year, I’ll be saying a reluctant goodbye to Germany as we pack our family up and move back to the United States. We’re headed to the East Coast in the fall, and while I will be happy to be back in the land of Target and drive-thru, I am heart broken to leave our home in Germany.
I want so badly to just Linger here. I know I can’t stay longer than our scheduled PCS time, but I am going to linger over every last second of this experience. I am going to take my time on trips, soaking in the sights, and I am of course, going to be reluctant to leave.
But lingering is about more than how badly I want to hang on to this place.
I also want to hang on to this life.
Homeschooling has been a beautiful accidental adventure. Sometimes, it’s hard. Sometimes I feel burnt out, and sometimes I want to quit. But I am going to persist. I’m going to continue. When we leave this place, I am bringing Homeschooling with me.
And then there are my kids, and the simple, day to day, beautiful things that they are. Childhood is flying by, and it breaks my heart. Bug will be eight this year. eight. How did that happen?
I want to linger over these moments with my children. I want to take the time to really see them. I want to slow down, and focus more intently on them. I want to make sure I take the time to push them on the swings, and hold their little hands, and kiss their heads at bedtime. I want to soak up their smell, and their squishy little cheeks, and the twinkle in their eyes. I want to dwell in enjoyment of motherhood.
This is what I want for my life.
I want to Linger.
I want to remain in a place longer than is usual or expected, as if from reluctance to leave.
I am reluctant to leave my home here, I am reluctant to leave this lifestyle of homeschooling, I am reluctant to leave the little years. How bittersweet it is…. how unexpected to want to linger in this.
I want to remain alive, to continue, and persist.
I don’t want to give up. Not on any of it.
I want to dwell in contemplation, thought and enjoyment.
I don’t want to take a moment of this life for granted.
I have 10 months left in Germany. I have every day with these little people. Our life is beautiful, with nothing at all to complain about. I have so much in the here and now. I do not want to spend this year thinking (or worrying!) about tomorrow, when there is so much to enjoy today.
What would you name as your word of the year?